A counselor can and must remain neutral about such combustive issues as adultery, abortion, or drug use. These and other issues have a long and tragic history of being severely underreported. Counselors who make and give judgments about such sensitive issues are encouraging their patients to stop seeking counseling. A counselor who is confronted with these issues must consider both sides. Some counselors believe that it is their job to criticize and offer their clients judgment on certain contentious issues.
These are issues in which they feel a reasonable person would condemn the behavior. Child abuse is such an issue, as there is never a good reason to beat and terrorize a child. Or is there? Such counselors believe that the mere fact that a behavior is wrong (adultery, drug abuse) is enough reason to discourage the patient from continuing it. A counselor who is pro-life may find it necessary to persuade against an abortion without considering the client’s needs. While religion is a sensitive issue as well, it is often the reasoning behind the counselor’s values.
A client would have to question the therapist’s religious beliefs ahead of time in order to find a value-neutral counselor. On the other end of the spectrum are the counselors who believe that nothing a client says should inspire criticism, because making the client feel uncomfortable will discourage him or her from returning to therapy. This would be especially precarious for a client who desperately needed therapy in order to stop dangerous behavior. Opponents of this type of counseling believe that some clients have no value system in place and instilling one is the job of counselors.
Adults are entirely capable of exploring different schools of thought and deciding on one. The therapist’s job, foremost, is to listen. Should they judge their clients, they will soon have no one to listen to. A counselor who judges a client’s behavior is discouraging that client from getting help. In my own experience, I saw a therapist for help managing stress and found myself being reprimanded for behavior that her religion condemned. I was forced to find another therapist because having my therapist quote the Bible did not help in the least.
I considered, for a brief time, whether it would even be worth it to try. If I had been a child abuser, my therapist would have failed to prevent violence. We can find criticism in many places – our parents, siblings, friends and co-workers, for starters. Often, people seek out therapy in order to get help for their problems from an unbiased point of view, a view that is not colored by strong moral or religious convictions. It is not the counselor’s job to make the client see the difference between right and wrong; they should be more concerned with the issues behind the behavior.
For that reason, a counselor who is confronted by an issue on which they have strong feelings should decide if he or she can be unbiased. If that is impossible, then it is time to refer the client to another counselor. There might be occasions upon which there are no other therapists available, but the client still needs to see a counselor as soon as possible. In such cases, the counselor should explore his or her own biases, and then consult with another counselor.
It would help to understand the other point of view, and how one provides therapy without judgment. In conclusion, it is ultimately the client’s responsibility to find a therapist with whom they’re comfortable and who provides the style of counseling that they prefer. It is difficult to “test drive” therapists in the era of HMO’s, but it can prove to be valuable means of finding a therapist and a longtime confidante. Counselors who abstain from judgment will find more of these clients remaining with them for more than a few sessions.