In Knowing Pains, Lipmann shows she adores her children. She starts by using the verb “love”. This suggests she is very fond and caring towards them. She describes how she gazes at them with awe, implying she is obsessed with them and worships them like idols. The word awe suggests she looks up to them, which is ironic as children usually look up to their parents. Next she says “rapturously grateful, which emphasises how deliriously happy her children make her feel. The metaphor ‘over the moon’ conveys her strong feelings about them.
She then goes on to say ‘my gratitude is touching. ‘ This emphasises her euphoric reactions to the things her children do that she loves. Following on from this phrase, she lists all of the things they do that she loves, for example “I watch them jealously through the windows”. This shows how she wishes she was in her childhood again; another example of this is “The sound of an electric guitar from an upstairs room is music to my ears”. Here she is ironic because most mothers would tell their child to turn it down.
Next she says “The pleasure of one of the kids tucking us in and kissing us goodnight before settling down to a video or two, is almost unparalleled. ” This is strange as it is usually the parent which does this to their children, suggesting their kids rule them. We also see that their children see her a bit of a loony woman, trying to be like them, for example “Occasionally, as we sit fogey like at the table while they clear up… we have been known to get a fit of the giggles… they meanwhile exchange derisory glances at our childish witticisms.
” This is ironic as the parents are the ones that are seen as childish, not the children. Furthermore she describes a conversation that shows a roll reversal. Lipmann’s son, Adam expected her to nag, but she didn’t. This amazes him. This is effective because she goes completely against mother instincts and thanks him for cleaning, something he is not prepared for. Also she says “when suddenly did I become an amusing pet”. The comparison of her to a pet is effective because it shows that her children now look down on her now they have grown up, and treat her like a domestic pet.
Instead of loving her, they are now just fond of her. To them she is there to be patronised. Next she describes how she copes with her oldest child now she has come back home from university. Here she shows her nasty side, but also how she keeps it away from her to stop arguments. She uses sarcasm, for example “Will you be on the phone much longer darling? (- Because if you’ve got time to talk to Emma and Melanie and Emma Jane and Neal and Emma then you’ve got time to pick five tons of unironed clothes off the floor! ”
This is effective because it suggests she doesn’t like her older child much, but doesn’t want to show it. Finally she lists all of the stages of her children’s lives, and becomes nostalgic. For example “will they ever walk, will they ever sleep” This shows how she has managed to overcome the big stages in their life and led them through it. Then she says “I have to smile and shake my head in a way only American moms in movies ever seem to do. ” This suggests she feels that she needn’t worry as these are done by instinct, and she is not really needed in their development, except to be there for them and to love them.