Jay Kesler presents ten principles of good parenting in his book, Emotionally Healthy Teenagers (1998). According to the author, parents of teenagers are required to help their kids become independent. Given that teenagers are going through physical and emotional changes, parents are expected to understand their weaknesses as well as strengths in order to help them move forward in life. Moreover, regardless of whether teenagers appear difficult or not, parents should work to help rather than against them. They should expect obedience in the process without demanding it.
More importantly, parents should bear God in mind before mocking other people for their deficiencies. Teenagers whose parents are mockers are not expected to easily overcome failures during their time of changes that is teen age. The ten principles propounded for good parenting include loving one’s spouse so that teenagers feel emotionally healthy not only at home but also when they step out of their homes. Parents that help their teenagers to feel emotionally healthy at home may expect their kids to naturally obey them. Expecting rather than demanding obedience forms the second principle in Kesler’s book.
Working for the benefit of their teenagers rather than against them is the third principle for parents. The fourth principle is for parents to help their teenagers learn about consequences. According to the author, it is part of God’s plan for individuals to attain independence. It is for this reason that Kesler advises parents to stop bailing out their teenagers at every turn. The fifth principle of Emotionally Healthy Teenagers is for parents to help their teenagers focus on their individual strengths. The sixth principle requires parents to listen to their teenagers instead of lecturing them all of the time.
This is important for teenagers in their acquisition of independence. According to the seventh principle, it is essential for parents to be able to laugh at themselves before their teenagers. The importance of healthy humor is the basis of this principle. The eighth principle makes it necessary for parents to impart their love for God to their teenagers. According to the author, faith is a proven principle of success. The ninth principle is connected to the eighth. It advises parents to stay calm regardless of their teenagers’ rebellious behavior.
Parents need to comprehend that their teenagers are trying to be independent when they behave in ways that appear rebellious. The tenth principle, therefore, asks of parents to allow their teenagers to start feeling independent, for example, by establishing restrictions for themselves. Undoubtedly, these principles of good parenting have been developed for parents to feel emotionally healthy before they can help their teenagers to feel good about themselves, despite the pressures that the young individuals may be going through. It is an acknowledged fact that teenagers that confront problems in their homes may be emotionally unhealthy.
They may turn to drugs and alcohol for this reason. Thus, the greatest strength of Kesler’s book, Emotionally Healthy Teenagers, is the fact that it offers emotional counseling to parents. The first principle propounded by Kesler asks of parents to create a happy home by loving each other. When parents love each other, it is easier for them to impart love to their teenagers. Love translates into emotional wellness for teenagers. What is more, Kesler describes the importance of positive feedback to teenagers. The American Academy of Family Physicians agrees with the author’s belief in positive feedback.
By mocking or offering negative criticism to their teenagers, parents are not expected to help them achieve independence. Therefore, Kesler’s argument for his ten principles is strong because it is perfectly reasonable. Parents that are not emotionally healthy have kids who may have to turn to other family members, if not teachers or school counselors. By reminding parents of principles based in faith and reason, Kesler’s book is expected to work wonders for the emotional lives of parents, who, in turn, are expected to improve their parenting skills with respect to their teenagers.