The death of a child can be very devastating to a parent; but to a child losing a parent is confusing and agitating especially where the child still relies on the parent for survival. The emotions associated with losing a loved one are beyond explanation and different people cannot react in the same to a situation. However, there are some common ones such as grief, anger, withdrawal, denial and loss in concentration. I would point out these effects as true following my experience after the death of my father which left me very emotionally drained.
For the next few days I found myself in denial and questions kept swelling up in my mind about why my father of all people had to leave us. My example is just one among many of the experience that many children have to go through after the loss of their parents. But even as we put more weight on the devastating effects to the children after the loss of a parent, we need to understand that death of a child can never be easy on a parent as well. Parents have unique connections with their children and losing them could cause detrimental effects.
This paper seeks to analyze the effects of the death of a parent on a child as opposed to the death of a child to a parent. Special emphasis will be put on the psychological and personality effects that are bound to surround death. Further, the abilities of parents and children to deal with death will make a significant part of this paper. Effects of death of a child on the parent The death of a loved one and especially one’s child can be quite devastating. Feelings of remorsefulness, sorrow, anger, guilt and regret are likely to occur upon the death of one’s child (Miles, 195).
Psychological trauma and decrements may impact seriously on the health of a parent sometimes resulting into dangerous health issues such as high blood pressure, heart attacks and other stress related complications. The grief associated with the loss of a child has been blamed for the high incidence in stress related conditions in parents. Parents and especially mothers according to (Keesee, 2008) develop a certain parental love for their children such that any kind of loss leave alone death is enough to emotionally distract them.
In the event of a child’s death, grief replaces the parent’s connection to the child such that the parent may often find himself or herself trying to imagine how it would have been if the child was still alive (Arnold, 2008). Memories of the child including noticing things he or she liked and desire to keep photographs of the dead children to act as a constant reminder are common among parents who have lost their children.
This may go on for years before the traumatic experience can be put into the past and it is this kind of grief that causes traumatic effects on the parents. Studies have shown that parents react differently in the case of death of a child. Major influences of reaction of death and can be assessed on the basis of circumstances surrounding the death such as sickness, suicide, accident, violence among others. The age of the child at the time of death, presence of other children and life history also influence parent’s reactions to a child’s death.
A study by Keesee (2008) revealed that the death of a child in the earlier stages of development may cause less effect on the parents than an adult child due to the parent-child relationship created over the years. This however cannot be used to summarize the effect of death of a child because each parent would have different feelings which only him or her can explain. The attachment between the child and the parent is different in every situation. For example, a parent who loses an only child who is two months old is likely to grief more than a person who has five more children.
This is because the latter is likely to find comfort in the surviving children while the former may find it hard to be childless especially where chances of the birth of another baby are slim. On the other hand, anxiety and over protection is likely to arise as the parent becomes more worried about the safety of the surviving children (Arnold, 2008). This is especially so where the death of the child was preventable but measures had not been taken to avoid the incidence leading to the death of that child.