Emotional distress is among the leading factors that affect a child in the event of a parent’s death. Social life is adversely affected and unless measures are taken to avoid deterioration in psychological advancement of the child irreversible effects may occur (Luecken et al, 2009). For older children, this may not be the case but the kind of bond cultivated between the child and the parent over the years brings with it a lot of distress. Memories of the good times keep rolling in the child’s mind and wishful thinking may overtake their acceptance of reality (Luecken et al, 2009).
When my father passed away, all I wanted to do was imagine that he was there with us. Denial which did not allow me to accept that he was gone kept bringing pictures of him and the good times we had spent together as a family. Poor concentration in studies causes detrimental effect on the academic performance for students who have lost a parent especially where there is no support from the school community ranging from the students, teachers an administration.
This is one ting that I found myself struggling with when my father passed away. It becomes hard to concentrate on my studies at times and I cannot help taking my mind off the books just to reflect about my father. This has seen deterioration in my academic work and I still need to put a lot of effort to fight emotions that constantly distract my studies. Adaptability of the child towards death of a parent mostly depends on the care and support received from family and friends and in particular support from the existing parent.
Neglect on the part of the surviving parent may curtail the speed in the healing process and in extreme cases lead to exaggerated reactivity of the child towards the loss. This is usually the case where children often develop behavioral problems as a result of feeling unloved and the accompanying lack of support. The effects of stress associated with loss of a parent together with neglect and seclusion are known to cause violent attitudes as children try to defend their vulnerability (Luecken, 2000; Mireault and Bond, 1992).
Such kind of children will tend to be defensive and usually have the feeling that people are treating them in the wrong manner due to the fact that their parent is dead. Children whose both parents have died and have to stay with relatives of friends may have anxiety over whether their new guardians will be able to give them the kind of support they received from their parents. Cases of mistreatment which are common among orphans can also affect the acceptability and recovery from the death of a parent as the child keeps reflecting and wishing that their parents were alive.
Acceptance of reality is also likely to be to be more prevalent in parents than children who may not understand why a parent had to leave them especially if they are too young. Acceptance in this case means coming to terms with the fact that death is inevitable and there is nothing that one can do after it has occurred to bring the person back. The reality of death cannot be said to be easy on anyone and whether it is a child who has lost a parent or vise versa the effects can never be under-estimated.
This study reveals that every person receives the new of the death of a loved one in a different way and depending on the relationship between the two grief levels can be quite elevated. Many parents will wish it that their children will live to enjoy life and possibly be the ones to bury them and not the other way round. Children on the other hand will not imagine life without their parents and their death is most certainly a blow on the face. These issues at times come to my mind and I can’t help but think what it would have been like if it was me who went before my father.
What difference in emotional effects would it have made? Children who are still reliant on their parents may particularly find it hard to adapt more so if both parents are dead or the surviving one cannot effectively provide for them (Wolchik et al, 2008). Due to their nature and their inability to quickly accept the loss of their parents, children are more prone to the effects of a parent’s death than parents are to the death of their children.
As I stated in the beginning, the death of a child can be very devastating to a parent; but to a child losing a parent is confusing and agitating especially where the child still relies on the parent for survival.
References
Anorld, J. , & Gemma, B. P. (1994). A child dies: A portrait of family grief, 2nd edition. Philadelphia: Charles Press. Arnold, J. (2008). The continuing process of parental grief. Death Studies, 32, 658-637. Feldman et al (1999). Negative emotions and acute psychological response to stress. Annals of behavioral Medicine, 21(3), 216-222.